Vix The Vulpix
Posts : 1219 Reputation : 8 Join date : 2014-04-26 Age : 24 Location : somewhere under your bed....don't look
| Subject: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 12:17 am | |
| Name: Raven Mokin
Age: 15
role: black bird witch
animal form: hawk sized black bird
love interest: N/A
Theme song: Titanium by David Gueda
appearance: she has short curly black hair, somewhat pale skin, and eerie pale yellow eyes, she is about 5'ft tall and her build is lean but very agile, her casual clothes are usually a black tshirt and black jeans, her usual outfit is a long black dress with feather trimming, she has black feather earings and a feather necklace, her facial expression is usually calm and collected, though she also blushes alot, on a regular basis her voice is shy and friendly but when talking to the enemy her voice is stern and calm
personality: she is a bit shy around families and friends but is loyal to them and is willing to do anything for the, during battle she is fierce and quick, the insults of enemies don't effect her really but the insults of someone close to her will ultimately crush her spirit, she's sensitive to her closest friends comments but when bullies or evil doers insult her it's like sand in the wind, it blows away instantly, it's as if when she battles she mentally blocks her emotions to a certain extent, she is extremely loyal to her friends and loved ones and will do anything for them
Likes: birds, hanging out with her friends and family, feathers, quiet music, playing the flute, talking to her bird friends, OREOS,
Dislikes: evil bullies and murderous scum, being made fun of, people who insult her family and friends, she has some what of a hard time talking to new people, disappointing her friends,
History: she and her family used to live in a peaceful village in the woods until Shadow their adopted brother killed their parents, they ran to death city fearing for their lives, in death city she and her little brother james struggled alone on the streets because her brother Damien disappeared, they honed their skills on the streets to help themselves to survive, soon they met the Neko twins Barry and Fiona and they became friends, though after that traumatic experience she became shy Extra info: vampires terrify her Did you read the rules: LET'S GO SOUL RESONANCE!
Last edited by FoxyPowers on Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:39 pm; edited 2 times in total | |
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Rayne
Posts : 86 Reputation : 1 Join date : 2014-04-19
| Subject: Re: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:17 pm | |
| Why did you unbold the category names? It makes it seem less organized. But...meh.
I need more appearance, at least double that. Also, you have logs of capitalization issues... You have altered the bolds and caps out of the template even. Why? | |
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Vix The Vulpix
Posts : 1219 Reputation : 8 Join date : 2014-04-26 Age : 24 Location : somewhere under your bed....don't look
| Subject: Re: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:44 pm | |
| 1) I'll try with the appearance :/ :) mkay
2) I never bolded anything :/
3) =_= and I don't know what capitalization your talking about :/
4) the OREOS are supposed to be like that to emphasize that she absolutely loves oreos :) | |
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Vix The Vulpix
Posts : 1219 Reputation : 8 Join date : 2014-04-26 Age : 24 Location : somewhere under your bed....don't look
| Subject: Re: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:51 pm | |
| Edited personality but I couldn't exactly triple it :/ sorry | |
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Vix The Vulpix
Posts : 1219 Reputation : 8 Join date : 2014-04-26 Age : 24 Location : somewhere under your bed....don't look
| Subject: Re: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:52 pm | |
| Also about the template, I can't really copy and paste certain things on my phone :/ | |
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Nogitsune
Posts : 321 Reputation : 8 Join date : 2014-04-07
| Subject: Re: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:35 pm | |
| I read this and it seems ok.Please verify who 'James' is since there isn't any hint to who he is.Other then that,you'll be good to go. | |
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Vix The Vulpix
Posts : 1219 Reputation : 8 Join date : 2014-04-26 Age : 24 Location : somewhere under your bed....don't look
| Subject: Re: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:38 pm | |
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Vix The Vulpix
Posts : 1219 Reputation : 8 Join date : 2014-04-26 Age : 24 Location : somewhere under your bed....don't look
| Subject: Re: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:40 pm | |
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Nogitsune
Posts : 321 Reputation : 8 Join date : 2014-04-07
| Subject: Re: Raven Mokin (DONE) Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:41 pm | |
| Seems ok to me,and it seems pretty good despite being done on a phone.Approved~ | |
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