The Never King

Name: The Never King

Age: Its not polite to ask someones age, you know. I don't know it anyways. Never Web, you understand. Time is....wonky. I have complete grasp over the narrative structure, and even I do not understand how Never Web time works.

Gender: I am MALE, thank you very much. I as of yet lack a female counterpart, and I intend to keep it that way. This King doesn't roll with a queen. And before you ask, it is NOT because I have trouble getting a date, its because a significant other would clutter up the narrative.

Weapon: I am completely genre savvy. I understand that a weapon that is not one of those fancy living ones is an invitation for some unarmed ruffian to trounce me, or to challenge me with a better weapon, or so forth. 

Appearance: I am a rather tall humanoid, with a narrow face and pointy chin, a large, beutiful grin with sharp teeth. Not the shark like kind mind you, more narrow and elegant. My hair is rather short, because long haired men are only sucessful in trashy romance novels, usually. My eyes lack discernible whites, and are entirely green. My ears are a bit on the pointy side, and my arms are very, very long, and my hands are exceptionally large.

Personality: Some people like to say I am nuts, but in my opinion, I am entirely sane. I know we all exist in a story, and I refuse to kill off main characters. Nameless side characters, who cares. Anyways, I tend to be exceptionally verbose while maintaining a degree of crypticity, as befitting my role as a person who understands the narrativial elements at play. I tend to be mischievious, frequently using pranks and such to amuse my self. Some might say my pranks are rather monstrous, but really, getting a bucket of dead baby dumped on you isn't SO bad, besides, not like the baby had any REAL plot importance. 

Likes: I enjoy stories, fairy tales, excetera. I also enjoy pranks and such, and being 'meta'. An example of this is how I wrote my own bio.

Dislikes: I utterly LOATHE reality TV. It doesn't bother me when the World claims to be reality, as they don't know any better, but when something as fake and bad as reality tv does it, it gives me the vapors.

History: Once I was a man called John Carpenter. I lived in the US as a scholar. Anyways, I stumbled upon some gobbeldy gook involving a treasure in ireland, and moved there to hunt for it. It was my misfortune to encounter a witch, who was experimenting with portal spells. Anyways, she used me as a guinnie pig, tossing me in a portal. Since I didn't come out, I assume she went and decided it was a failure, and tried again. Anyways, it was actually a partial success, as I was deposited SOMEWHERE. The Never Web. A formless world of chaos and madness. I wanted, for a few eons, to escape, wandering around. Occasionally, I would encounter a lost soul, due to poor circumstance having arrived there. I slew them and ate their souls. Each soul I took, my control over the Never Web increased. Eventually, upon reaching the starting twenty, I was able to open a portal to the World. By this point, I was completely sane, and understood I was in a story. Now, my only real goal is to shake things up, keep the story interesting. After all, when the story dies, so does our world.

Powers: 

Other: The Never Web is an odd place. In it, strength of arms is meaningless, as is strength of souls. What is real and not real is decided by strength of will and imagination. I merely have lots of practice, and I cheat hilariously.. 

Have you read the rules?

I believe the phrase is 'Lets go soul resonance', unless it has been changed without my knowledge.