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| Margret Moonlight | |
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jac600
Posts : 132 Reputation : -4 Join date : 2014-04-22 Age : 24 Location : Teaxas
| Subject: Margret Moonlight Sun Nov 23, 2014 11:03 am | |
| Name: Margret, Moonlight Age: 23 Gender: Female Appearance: Margret stands 5 feet 7 inches tall, She weighs 135 pounds, her hair is died grey and she dresses in a Gothic Lolita dress with the highest heels you have ever seen. She wields two Otaku scythes, weighted perfectly and beautiful in their design, the scythes support yellow/grey blades. She wears makeup to pale her face and black lipstick, she has taken great care to not become a monster-like Kishen egg. Personality: Margret is psychotic, vengeful, and a massive nerd. If you believe that practicing combat techniques instead of watching star trek all day applies you for nerd ship. She has a sarcastic since of humor, and always manages to bog any good mood you have down. She does not like to hurt people, but she thinks- no she knows that killing them is for their own good. She loves singing them a song to make the death more bearable. Likes: Rock/goth music, new combat techniques, punishing sinners, loosing weight and froyo if there is time left in the day. Dislikes: Sinners, the self righteous, people who abuse their power, teenagers, and her parents. (who are still alive and very annoying.) History: Margret was born in a very wealthy family. She had two brothers and an older sister, both of her parents were around. But from an early age she always saw the worst in peaple. "He chews his food wayyy to loudly, she cannot survive without her phone for three minutes, he is a preist but can't remember 3 out of 10 commandments" That sort of thing, when she was in a private high school she was bullied and she cut herself off from peaple. She began practicing combat techniques in her family's basement, she became quite proficient in a number of combat techniques. Things spead up from there, she entered a judo tournament because her family practically forced her to since she never went anywhere with them and won it, a couple years later she entered a beauty pageant and got runner up. It was 18 when she first dawned the guise of Margret Moonlight, her real name was Margret you see, Margret stepolopogous (You would not believe the hell that got her) but one night she decided she wanted to make a difference in the world, she would be a hero! So she spent a few weeks going over concept art and sewing a dress, but the most important part was that she bought her gun blades, for the price of a new car her family unwittingly bought her a pair of weapons that could cut through flesh like butter. She very rarely dawned the guise of the grim reaper to punish sinners in the night, oh sure. She killed one or two peaple here an there and quite a few before she started eating them. As soon as she was eighteen she moved out, and started taking classes at a prestigous college. She got a bachelors degree and is now living on her own somewhere in France. (She moved there from america as soon as she could afford it) Powers:Abilities | Description | # of souls needed | Sirens song | Margret sings a song capable of drawing npc's and Oc's out into the open. When in it's range characters eyes will dilate and a profound urge to search for the sound will overcome most people. They can be broken out of this effect however, by will or if somone breaks them out of it. | 10 | Blink | Margret jumps back and fades into the shadow, while fading she cannot be hit until she reappears. It has a short range teliport, about good enough to get her to a rooftop or behind her enemy. It is very tricky to do this in succession and can only be used three times a thead. It is very hard for her to exicute when injured or distracted, and in addition to this she cannot do this if she is grabbed by anyone or teid/chained/trapped. She can only go to places in her line of sight, so no going through walls. | 20 | Wings | Margaret can sprout a pair of black angelic wings that allow her to fly. She is pretty agile while using them, somehow they do not rip her clothes open. | 30 | Durability | Margaret's skin becomes harder to cut with knives, adn harder to bruise with fists. Swords and clubs however, are only slightly less effective. | 40 | Healing factor | Margaret can heal faster than before, simple not bleeding cuts and bruises will mend themselves in five minutes, while most larger injury's such as bleeding gashes and bruises will heal one after the other in about an hour. | 50 | This one kills the audience! | Margaret ramps up her sirens song to be much more vicious. Any npc's already en-captivated by her sirens song will start to have their limbs jerk like they are puppets dancing to music. The effects grow more and more severe across the two minute and 32 second song. Untill that final note when they all fall like their strings are detached. Contrary to it's name, most npc's will just fall unconscious for about 2 and a half minutes once the final note is heard. It serves more to keep them from getting away then anything else. OC's are not effected in this way by it, rather when they get closer and closer to Margaret their ears hurt more and more. OC's within five feet of her when she speaks the last note will be sent back by a shock wave, capable of throwing them off their feet if they are close enough. She will not be able to sing for the remainder of the thread after using this ability, and her voice will be (temporarily) hurt. | 75 | Reaper melody | Margaret's body fills with energy as she enters a breif super state. For the next two minutes as long as she can sing (she must miss at least five notes to be sent out of reaper melody) she gains increased everything. Speed, strength, and agility. Her scythes charge with soul wavelength and become more effective, her song grows louder. Her durability and healing upgrades become slightly stronger. When she exit's reaper melody she is in no worse for ware then when she started. | 100 | Other: Her pouches contain numerous throwing stars and kunai knives, all are very expensive and she is quite proficient with them. Margaret is capable of opening her mouth and summoning the souls of her prey inside, this has an effective range of 12 feet. Have you read the rules?I don't know how to handle this...
Last edited by jac600 on Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:00 pm; edited 9 times in total | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Sun Nov 23, 2014 11:51 am | |
| I love the reaper persona here. There's a certain charm that only a very delusional baddy can bring. xD
No then, I would prefer if you went through and checked your grammar for mistakes. One or two is fine, but there are quiet a few, and it damages how coherent the app is as a whole. I would like you to look through the app, and fix any errors you can find, please. ^^
As well, I have to mention that no part of her history explains how she would be proficient in making a complicated weapon like the one stated in the app. Channeling your wave-length through your BODY without the assistance of a Demon Weapon is challenging enough. Designing, building, and even using a weapon like this would take years of expertise, and study in the proper field. Aside from that, I'm not sure that kind of weapon is allowed on the site at all(I'm looking into that, so sorry in advance. >~<')
Also, I would recommend you put more into the into the Siren's song. Any hussy can whistle a tune, an lure someone out x3. So, if you're planning on compelling someone or something, you should really add more detail. Similarly, I would like to know if the "Blink" ability effects her capacity to attack people(Pretty OP if she can become untouchable, and still deliver any attack she pleases. Even restricted to a short time, this could end a fight, and fast.).
P.S. Really sorry this took so long to get looked at. .~.' |
| | | jac600
Posts : 132 Reputation : -4 Join date : 2014-04-22 Age : 24 Location : Teaxas
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Sun Nov 23, 2014 2:09 pm | |
| I changed her history so she comes from a wealthy family instead, so she just bought the weapons from a swiss expert online.
I changed Sirens song that way it has a slightly drug like effect to those who hear it.
And she cannot touch peaple when blinking and cannot be touched untill she reapears. It is like a telliport. She disapears and reapears somwhere else. | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Sun Nov 23, 2014 2:24 pm | |
| Alright, well until I can discern if the weapon is allowed, I can't approve the app. Further, that doesn't seem like something you buy online, but I can see a spoiled family getting it from an expert for a large amount of money.
Also, if it's instant movement(Like teleportation) needs a clear limit. How many times it can be used in a thread, how far(you already got that), and what the consequence is for going over the limit. Ideally you must concentrate for a certain amount of time before being able to do this. This avoids an OP attack strategy, and being able to flash out of a combat zone, or perilous situation instantly. |
| | | jac600
Posts : 132 Reputation : -4 Join date : 2014-04-22 Age : 24 Location : Teaxas
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Sun Nov 23, 2014 2:57 pm | |
| How about this, Blink cannot be used while being trapped or pinned or teid to anything, it can be used three times per thread, it cannot be used directly after another blink (Lets say an 8 second cooldown.) but it can go through walls. | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Sun Nov 23, 2014 3:08 pm | |
| I really don't think she should be able to go anywhere she can't see. That also goes towards the instant escape thing. |
| | | jac600
Posts : 132 Reputation : -4 Join date : 2014-04-22 Age : 24 Location : Teaxas
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Sun Nov 23, 2014 3:27 pm | |
| Ok I changed it so that she can only go to places in her line of sight. | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Mon Dec 01, 2014 1:10 pm | |
| Alright. After consulting the staff, It was decided that a non-Demon Weapon weapon like that is impossible. While self resonance is possible, it was only seen with people using their body s the medium. Exempli Gratia: Steins Soul menace, and Mifune's wavelength projection.
You will have to change the weapon before I can approve the app. Again, sorry for the wait on this. >~<' |
| | | jac600
Posts : 132 Reputation : -4 Join date : 2014-04-22 Age : 24 Location : Teaxas
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Mon Dec 01, 2014 1:47 pm | |
| Ok, I am ok with that. I changed her gun scythes to regular scythes and gave her throwing stars and knives in the misc section to compensate. | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Margret Moonlight Mon Dec 01, 2014 2:10 pm | |
| Alright then! This app looks all good to go! Yay delusional hero persona's! >:D
Approved, and moved!~ |
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